Filling in the Blanks

A few weeks ago, this came to me in prayer. It’s been mulling around in my head ever since, and I decided to share it as a New Year’s Day “food for thought”.

“You have in your mind an image of what ____________________ should look like. And when the reality doesn’t match the picture in your head, you feel disappointed, betrayed, even despair. And you become so focused on what it DOESN’T look like (what you have convinced yourself that it SHOULD look like), that you keep missing the beauty and blessing of what IS…on what IS right in front of you.”

As I have been pondering this, I realized that I could “fill in the blank” with anything and it was true. A few of the issues that I most struggle with include:

  • Relationships/friendships
  • Love
  • Feeling heard
  • God
  • My own self being “enough”

Every issue I struggle with can fit here…for example, I have a picture in my head of what friendships “should” look like, and when the reality doesn’t fit the picture in my head, I despair and grieve over the loss of that friendship…when in fact, the reality IS that friends do love, and do care and are present in my life…but I’m so focused on what those friendships and relationships DON’T look like (i.e., they don’t match the picture in my head of how they should look) that I keep missing the joy and richness of what’s right in front of me, here and now.

I realized that I do have pictures in my head of what “Love”, what “feeling heard”, what “God”, what “self” all should look like…pictures that have been conjured up through a lifetime of reading books, magazines, watching TV and listening to what teachers, parents, other people and the media have told me life should look like…and when the realities don’t match the pictures, I do fall into great despair over the perceived failures and losses and absences, and I do experience a sense of betrayal and hurt and disconnection. When I dare to look beyond those pictures and see the truth of what’s right in front of me, in fact, it’s all there…I AM deeply loved, I AM heard, God IS with me, and my Self is actually strong, healthy, vibrant, contented and ENOUGH…but I’m so focused on what I believe is missing, on what ISN’T, that I keep missing the beauty and blessing and joys of what IS.

The mediation continues: “Relinquish the need for “it (fill in the blank)” to fit your “should’s”; let go of these expectations for everything and everyone to match the pictures/should’s in your head. Open your eyes to what IS, and allow that beauty to shine through. Allow people, friendships, Love and God to be who they are, even when they don’t match those pictures in your head, and choose to see that they are good and “enough”. Find the blessing in what IS instead of focusing on old lies and the resulting sense of betrayal of what is in truth an illusion that has been allowed to develop through a lifetime of listening to what everyone else has led you to believe your life “should” look like.”

This year, let go of those pictures and unrealistic expectations you’ve built up in your head –  and let the goodness and joy of what IS, and the people who ARE in your life, bless you.


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Copyright © Sharon C. Matthies, Meanderings (blog), 2017. All rights reserved.
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About Sharon

I love to write. I love to write myself into being right here right now. Writing releases something in me that needs wings, writing opens doors and windows that I often don't even realize are possible, writing helps me breathe out the dusty old, and to breathe in the new and possible. My hope is that maybe writing here in this blog will bring new light into these dusty old hallways and help me to clear out the thinking processes and mindsets that just don't work for me anymore. I seek to breathe new light and life into the nooks and crannies of a soul that has been feeling somewhat lost and frayed because of the last few patches of road I've had to travel.
This entry was posted in anxiety, authenticity, coping, depression, empowerment, faith, gratitude, hope, inspiration, life, Love, mental health, positive thinking, self help, wisdom and tagged , , , , , , , , . Bookmark the permalink.

2 Responses to Filling in the Blanks

  1. Angelika Schwarz says:

    Oh yes, I can relate. Very well written Sharon.

    Liked by 1 person

    • Sharon says:

      Thank you, Angelika. Prayer has become a gentle, beautiful sanctuary for me again…I really love when these thoughts/epiphanies break through the angst and shine light into the shadows in my mind, like this one did.


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