I think I’m addicted to memes. I can’t get enough of them…and yet, some days, my brain is so full of memes that the constant chatter can drive me crazy.
I had a break from them during our 10-week stay in Cuba this past winter. With Internet access being expensive and so much else to do, I usually only managed to get online once a week to check emails. I didn’t even attempt to log into Facebook or Pinterest. So I had ten weeks of living without memes, and surprise, I survived quite well. In fact, it’s entirely possible that I managed to thrive without them. Imagine!
When we returned home, I admit to not wanting to get back into my same old habits of spending hours scrolling through memes and beautiful pictures from all over the world. I really had the best of intentions to limit myself to just a couple of hours a day, and using that time primarily to reconnect and chat with friends all over the world. I have a wonderful circle of online friends who I cherish deeply, and who continue to bring blessing and beauty into my life every day. I treasure those friends and connections and am profoundly grateful for how easy it is to stay in daily communication with each other. So any time spent with them is gift and blessing and the highlight of my days.
But it didn’t take long before I again succumbed to the lure of those brightly coloured, cleverly worded memes. Now let’s be clear here, some of those memes really do provide me with inspiring food for thought, even to the point of becoming regular mantras which help me to rewrite the negative self-talk that has plagued me for my entire life. Some of these memes HAVE helped me to change my way of thinking, and therefore, my life. And I celebrate those changes and improvements. With gratitude. Gratitude for the people who originally spoke those words and gratitude for the technology which so easily gets those words to me, often when I most need to hear them, and in short, simple snippets that my brain can handle and remember.
But I think it has gone beyond short and sweet forays into the meme forest, and has grown into a full-blown addiction.
I can quit anytime I want to. I can! I do! I do stop to eat…I never chase after memes while eating, nor do I meme-hunt while shopping or watching TV or brushing my teeth…but my brain DOES chatter memes everywhere I go…non-stop. Sometimes that’s helpful, because I used to suffer from severe panic attacks in social situations and for a long time, was afraid to even step out my own front door. Now I can go just about anywhere, though it’s still a struggle to go out there by myself. But thankfully there’s always the perfect meme to help me through just about any situation I could encounter “out there” in the jungle.
All is well. I am safe. I am capable. I am astonishingly powerful.
Breathe. See beauty all around you. I am grateful.
I am abundantly blessed. Being kind to others matters.
I am loved.
So it hasn’t been a complete waste of time, searching, scrolling and sharing those memes (because many of my friends also enjoy reading and commenting on them, and we’ve had some amazing discussions over the years.)
I don’t really want to stop altogether…the next one might be “the one” that will lift me up over that last threshold into complete and utter freedom and that ever-elusive happiness. That’s all I’ve ever wanted. I want that. That’s what I want. “They” keep saying to say what I want. So I keep saying it. Is it possible that it’s actually coming true?
Maybe that’s what I’m addicted to…the tantalizing taste of that freedom and happiness, the tender sweet whisper that gently tickles and teases my mind every time I come across a new never-worded-that-way-before meme. Maybe I’m addicted to feeling my heart expanding just a little bit more in the direction of that whispering light. It’s so close I can feel my wings fluttering in joyful anticipation of soaring…
Sigh. I like memes. The treasured ones that I pin to my Pinterest boards have been very kind and generous to me in their compassion and understanding of this journey I’m on. They make me feel like I can do anything and be anything I want to be.
That’s bordering on empowering and exhilarating.
I’ve been trying to at least cut down my meme-browsing hours to practice some of what they preach…like, maybe instead of reading about living a happy life, how about I actually go out there and LIVE that happy life…except, wait, is it possible? Let me check…yes, I think that it’s entirely possible that I’m ALREADY LIVING my happy life!!
Maybe, like the memes keep trying to tell me, maybe I’m not so broken after all.
Let me go and see what today’s memes say about it.