Revealing Attractions

Lately, this blog has been about my physical meanderings. Today it’s my mind that has been meandering. And I was so excited about what I found, that I had to come and write about it this morning.

I had a revelation last night. Probably not a NEW new revelation, in fact, I think I’ve heard and read about this for years. But last night, it came as one of those “aha” moments, because finally I could actually SEE and feel the tangible connection, and the familiar words took on a whole new and hopefully thought-changing meaning.

Let me describe what has been going on first, then how I finally saw it all in a new light.

Ever since the gruesome barbaric beheading of journalist Jim Foley in August, I have been spiraling into a profound state of sorrow and fear over the seemingly unstoppable flow of hatred and violence, not just in the Middle East but everywhere, including in my own personal life. In the days following the release of that video, I desperately began “damage control” in my psyche, knowing that I needed to be careful not to tread too closely to the darkness (given my history of depression and despair). I posted pretty pictures on Facebook, filled my Pinterest boards with positive messages, probably drove many of my friends crazy with my ever-increasing proliferation of posts about being light and love in a world that desperately needs both of those things.

Then the situation worsened for me, when my niece traveled to that area to do a year of humanitarian aid. As soon as she touched down in Egypt, my fears escalated. As the news from the Middle East worsened, so did my anxiety. To the point where I could actually feel it suffocating me. So more damage control in the form of uncontrollable postings and vehement declarations of the critical need for us all to be kind and loving towards each other. Which is true, but my posts reeked of desperation even to me.

Then what began happening is that the more I raged against hatred and unkindness, the more hatred and unkindness bombarded me, from every side. Things that people wrote began to pierce my heart with perceived hatred and unkindness. The newspapers were overflowing with stories of cruelty and violence. Suddenly my entire world seemed to tilt into darkness and I began to panic, and then could feel myself spiraling deeper and deeper into the precipice towards utter despair. Last night I thought I was finally going to capitulate to the despair. I didn’t want to, but despair is like quicksand, the more you struggle, the quicker it sucks you in.

So I went to my Pinterest board and plied it full of meaningful memes, and after about 30 minutes, I realized that I was focusing so much on the hatred and darkness that that’s all I was seeing and feeling. Then I – unintentionally! – landed on someone’s Law of Attraction board. Suddenly the messaging changed, and so did my mood. I sat back in my chair and let that change roll around in my mind for awhile, and then the proverbial light bulb came on. Finally, after many years of READING about this law of attraction stuff, I could actually touch what it was trying to tell me.

I don’t intend to turn this post into a lesson on Law of Attraction (I’ll post a link later), so will just write what was pertinent to my experience. Essentially, the Law of Attraction says in a nutshell that we attract to ourselves exactly what we focus on. The Universe doesn’t distinguish between it being good or bad, it just responds to the vibrational pulling of our thoughts, like a magnet.

So for almost a month, I have been increasingly focused on hatred and violence. My posts were increasingly focused on fighting AGAINST hatred and unkindness, which are the things in life that I most fear…and in the Law of Attraction world, were interpreted as the things I most WANTED because of the high level of energy and thought-focus I was giving to them. So of course, in its infinite desire to give me what I want, it gave me more experiences of hatred and unkindness, not just in the media, but in my own personal life as well.

So last night I finally recognized that connection, and realized that I had been allowing those words “hate” and “unkindness” to permeate just about every post, every thought and every feeling. And thus the increasing proliferation of both everywhere I looked and read.

So I realized that those are NOT what I want in my life, so I have to do an about-face and give all of my focus and energy to what I DO want in my life, and allow my words to reflect THOSE things. To speak out of a genuine desire, not out of fear and anxiety.

So I’m going to try it. As of today, at the end of this post, I am going to remove the words “hate” and “hatred” out of my vocabulary and focus on what I really want, “Love” “Light” “Beauty” “Kindness” and “Gratitude”. All positive, not because I’m afraid or DON”T want the opposites, but simply because I want more – and more – of those things because they are good and healthy and much easier to carry around than the fear and sorrow that had been taking over my mind and mood.

I can feel the difference already. Even just writing those “h” words brought clouds into my thinking. Focusing on Light, I see light. Focusing on Love, I see love. Not that I’m oblivious to all of the other stuff, it’s just where I want and need and choose to focus my precious energy and thoughts. Let’s see how it goes.

vibration be a magnet keep what you want

LINK for further information:

The Law of Attraction website – a good place to start
If you google “Law of Attraction”, you will find a wealth of information and resource sites

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Copyright © Sharon C. Matthies, Meanderings (blog), 2014. All rights reserved.
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About Sharon

I love to write. I love to write myself into being right here right now. Writing releases something in me that needs wings, writing opens doors and windows that I often don't even realize are possible, writing helps me breathe out the dusty old, and to breathe in the new and possible. My hope is that maybe writing here in this blog will bring new light into these dusty old hallways and help me to clear out the thinking processes and mindsets that just don't work for me anymore. I seek to breathe new light and life into the nooks and crannies of a soul that has been feeling somewhat lost and frayed because of the last few patches of road I've had to travel.
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4 Responses to Revealing Attractions

  1. angelika says:

    FANTASTIC! Everything about this blog!!!!! Thank you for sharing.


  2. Yay, Sharon! I’m glad you made the connection. 😀


    • Sharon says:

      Thanks, me too, Ruth! Yesterday was a precarious day for me. I believe that it was no accident, but a direct answer to prayer, that I landed on that Abraham-Hicks Pinterest board, because those messages were exactly what I needed (and what I had prayed for!) to help me turn myself around. I should have known, but that`s the thing about despair, it eventually blinds us to everything else. I`m so glad God found a way to wake me up and point me in the right direction!

      Liked by 1 person

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